#AtoZChallenge — Hair

This post is part of the April A to Z Blogging Challenge, where I am challenging myself to reflect on other A to Z posts that I come across. 


Hair

https://bethlapinsatozblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/09/hair/
— Read on bethlapinsatozblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/09/hair/


I don’t get my hair cut often, partly because I’m broke and partly because I just don’t put much effort into my hair. Sure I wash it, comb it, etc., but I never got into blow drying it or putting product in it or anything like that. My wake up routine when I have somewhere to go is usually roll out of bed, get dressed, comb hair, walk out the door.

But last week while my partner had an appointment in town, I tagged along and checked out the salon next door. I did very little research before hand and did not make an appointment, despite my best intentions, but they accepted walk-ins and I only had to wait fifteen minutes.

The shampooing my is my favorite part. It’s a glorious scalp massage, with warm water.

The talking is my least favorite part, because I’m awkward as hell. It seems like it would be rude to just sit there in complete silence, especially since they always try to start conversations. But the lady cutting my hair was nice enough. I told her I just wanted a trim because I’m growing my hair out for the wedding next year.

She asked, “Who’s the lucky guy?”

Awkward alert! I’m used to correcting that sort of thing with “lucky girl,” except now my partner is out about transitioning. So there was this pause in which my brain went durrrrrrr for a while, then I think I said something like oh it’s my partner we’ve been together for five years and lived together for three.

After a while she started to catch on that I kept saying partner instead of using pronouns and apologized for being heteronormative. I was so inspired by that I explained that my partner is transitioning and I’m still getting used to the pronoun switch, and we ended up talking about hilarious ways our dudes have been startled awake — mine by a cat biting his nose, hers when she yanked the pillow out from under his head because she was worried he’d roll over on the baby.

I think I’ve posted about this before, now that I’ve written it, but whatever. It’s important. It was a refreshingly good encounter, both in terms of non-awkward acceptance (cough cough my parents are awkward as hell, wonder where I get that from) and me being more talkative while using the new pronouns. It’s just, you never know how people are going to react, you know? This is a pretty liberal town, but still. And… I kind of loathe the idea of being mistaken for straight. We’re a queer couple, but the pronouns no longer indicate that without the extended explanation, and it feels as though my identity gets lost or that I’m lying about it by omission. Both of our identities, really.

So… that’s part of the quandary of getting my hair done now. They always want to talk. I always feel awkward about the talking and end up telling the story about how our last apartment gave me fleas. Every time. It is not a story that makes me sound like a classy person. I don’t know why I always tell that one, it just pops out.

Are there such things as silent hair salons? Because if not, introverts of the world! We should rise up and demand quietly mumble a request for them!

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#AtoZChallenge — Alone, Alive

This post is part of the April A to Z Blogging Challenge, where I am challenging myself to reflect on other A to Z posts that I come across. 


This reflective essay by Blikachuka is like a snapshot of how I used to feel all the time in high school. When I thought about my crushes, the things I imagined never really went beyond holding hands. And usually, the guys I picked to have crushes on were at a distance of comfortable impossibility.

Except I never really pushed myself on the “why” of it. As an introvert with some anxiety stuff going on (not that I was specifically aware of this in high school either) I was content with getting my homework done, reading a lot, going to marching band practices and shows, just going through things day by day. Kind of like I was on autopilot, waiting for my life to start.

Going to an extremely liberal college expanded my horizons. For the first time I saw examples of relationships and people existing outside the heteronormative, straight-laced bubble I’d been raised in. I started having real crushes, with real feelings and real kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck-fantastic outcomes. I watched/listened to/read the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and took my first philosophy class with quotes about the Total Perspective Vortex on my mind — “The whole infinite Universe. The infinite sums. The infinite distances between them, and yourself. An invisible dot on an invisible dot. Infinitely small.” (x) I saw a therapist for the first time. I dated my first girlfriend, with no real idea of how dating was supposed to work.

Being able to face that you are a living being and consider what that means is one of the few dignities we have been afforded in this universe. So let yourself feel it, the pain, the fear, the wonder, and all.

“Alive,” Zen & Pi

After college I stayed with my parents for a while, and kind of went back into waiting for my life to start mode, but at least that time I knew why. I relied on OKCupid for a while to experience any kind of social interaction, because most of my friends lived well out of the area or had fallen out of touch.

2017-12-27 15.42.08
I love this goofball.

Every “date” I went on I approached like I was trying to make a friend first, and it wasn’t until I admitted to myself that I was going on a Date date that I was able to make a connection with someone. We met for the first time at the Academy of Sciences in San Francisco, an hour’s drive away, though it turned out we lived about fifteen minutes away from each other. I fell head over heels.

Five years later, as I’m only about a month and a half from turning thirty, I’m still head over heels. My partner is transitioning, and by the time we get married next year we’re going to look, to the casual observer, as though we’re one of those heteronormative couples I grew up trained to expect, but we’re totally not. It makes my heart so happy to know that we are just us.

 

Research Help Needed!

I posted this on the NaNoWriMo forums as well (here), but…

I’ve decided to set my novel in New Hampshire despite never having set foot in the state. I also live in California and don’t really know what real weather is. Please help with the following!

  • What’s the weather like in July, August, October, November, and December?
  • What baseball team(s) do people follow?
  • What styles are most of the houses?
  • What is the LGBT scene/atmosphere  like?
  • Slang people use
  • Anything else I should probably know

#AtoZChallenge — T is for Trust

T

Just in time! This story was inspired by a prompt on TheProse.com: “///// Nightdwellers ‘Beginning Line’ Challenge (April) ///// Write a piece of literature with the beginning line ‘Twilight, and the ocean breaks…’” (Here.)

1274 words. Adult content, LGBT themes, and no marine animals were actually hurt for the writing of this story. Please leave a comment if you like what you read. 😊  Continue reading “#AtoZChallenge — T is for Trust”

#AtoZChallenge — E is for Engagement

EMore in the spirit of both challenges I’m participating in this month, I’ve been scrambling to get this story written and polished since last night. This is not my strong suit, and I really need to thank my partner Musingtopieces and my Camp NaNoWriMo cabinmates for their feedback!

878 words. LGBT themes. 🏳️‍🌈 Continue reading “#AtoZChallenge — E is for Engagement”

Sunday Gratitudes #44

🔔 – Due to a paperwork error on a hastily handwritten section of a form, we were nearly disqualified from receiving a free 8 day dream vacation. But I stuck around arguing about it long enough that they let us have it anyway, along with the complimentary Wine Country tastings we’d also been promised. (All those years of being deeply embarrassed whenever my mom snapped at fast food employees who got our order wrong finally paid off!) I am so proud of myself for not being a doormat and giving in. 

🔔 – We’re doing a Christmas card this year!! I feel like such an adult. 

🔔 – I have all my Christmas shopping done. Never have I been so ahead of the curve and organized about gifts before. And most of them are already wrapped and under our tree! Adult achievement unlocked. (I got a gift app and that helped. I’m even under my expected budget!)

🔔 – One of my dad’s cousins and her partner are in town and they want to visit, no pressure no schedule no timeline! I love my immediate family but they make scheduling visits so complicated. This is refreshing and makes me feel special and calm and grown up. 

🔔 – For years I thought I was the only openly queer member of the family because my dad asked me not to tell my catholic grandmother. But the aforementioned cousin (Grammy’s niece) brought her partner to the 100th birthday party. I’m not alone!

🔔 – I have a haircut scheduled for Christmas Eve morning. My stylist seemed bummed about having to work that day, so I told her I’d bring her a plate of cookies. She seemed super excited! And this is only my second appointment with her, she doesn’t even know that my grandma makes like twenty different kinds plus barks and candies. 

🔔 – I wrote twelve days of Christmas love letters for my baby and made them all pretty. It’s going to be a very good Christmas and New Years. 💝 

Shared Post: We hold these truths to be self-evident, sometimes. — ZEN AND Π

The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought […]

via We hold these truths to be self-evident, sometimes. — ZEN AND Π

Monday Musings #3 – Disassembling the Closet

Heteronormativity is a topic I’ve been grappling with lately for my novel, because stopping to think about how pervasive it is breaks my brain a little bit. Picking the strings of heteronormativity from the world I’m building and my narrative voice is a challenge… Some things are just really hard to pin down and define when you’re entirely used to them.

So, after running across this LGBT Buzzfeed article by chance on my Facebook feed, I took some notes and attempted to organize my thoughts. These are my own views but I’m always open to more perspectives and input, so comments are very welcome. Continue reading “Monday Musings #3 – Disassembling the Closet”