Affirming each other’s feelings

Affirming each other’s feelings
— Read on

“Acknowledging that something doesn’t have to make sense to you for it to be real, is powerful.”

#AtoZChallenge — Best

This post is part of the April A to Z Blogging Challenge, where I am challenging myself to reflect on other A to Z posts that I come across. 

Today’s post is based on this writing prompt from Livre It To Me:


I have a spotty history with best friends.

My grandma had a daycare when my brother and I were little, partly for something to do once she and my Grandpa moved to California, and partly to help out my parents who both had full time jobs. There was only one other girl my age, and she also had a younger siblings. We were instantly best friends. But by the time I started grade school, her family moved away.

My best friend in first grade was really smart. So that’s why her parents arranged for her to skip second grade the next year, and I never saw her again.

I made a new best friend in second grade. Her name was Natalie, and I probably remember her the best out of all of them. One day we were hanging out at my grandparents’ house, because it was walking distance from the elementary school. We were horsing around. I was sitting on the trunk of my grandma’s big white car, and Natalie thought it would be funny to give me a scare, so she grabbed my ankles and give a little tug. Because the car was so high I didn’t have a really stable seat… so I slid right off and landed on the concrete driveway so hard I saw stars and my tailbone hurt for the rest of the day.

Looking back, maybe not that great of a friend.

Anyway, that lasted at least through third grade, when I got it into my head that a third friend of ours was trying to “steal” her from me. (There may have been some babyqueer feelings involved there, but that thought didn’t occur to me until years later. There may also have been some pebble throwing and bad words on my part… I don’t want to talk about it.)

Then I had a best friend in fifth grade, but then my family moved to another side of town and hers moved to Colorado.

I guess I just don’t have very good luck with best friends.


via Photo Challenge: Friend


Since this is a writing blog, the first thing I have to say about my best and most cuddly friends is that they do not help me write.

In fact, they do everything in their power to keep me from writing. They walk between me and my screen — often directly on the keyboard, making their own contributions to my stories. They knock things over, like the potted plant that no longer lives on top of the fireplace. They meow and fuss because they need food, water, the litter box to be scooped, back scratches, head scratches, ear rubs, chin rubs, cuddles, reassurance, help catching a bug, the window open so they can listen to something…

And that’s not even counting the times they need to be removed from the kitchen counters or, for some reason, the bathroom sink. They can be brats and/or weirdos sometimes… but then again, so can I. I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

The Healing Power of Cat PurrsFor one thing, half of my exercise consists of chasing Louie and Noodle off of the no-kitty areas or getting up to give Frankie food kisses while she eats. (Not that I’ll admit to having a favorite or anything. Frankie is just a really well-trained cat!)

For another, few things are more calming than a cat sprawling on top of you and starting to purr. This literally has therapeutic affects, and has been known to lower both stress and blood pressure.

These little creatures are some of the best friends I have ever had. Frankie, our first cat (far right in the picture), stole my heart away when she was two months old. I was working part time from home back then, and she was napping on my chest while I tried to type with my laptop propped up on my bent knees. Then she woke up, crawled a little higher, and started licking my face with her rough little tongue as if to say, “Hi Mommy. I love you.” I haven’t begrudged her my heart for the past two years, but I do wish she would stop yelling to remind me all the time.

Louie, full name Lucifer (far left in the picture, and yes, these are all female cats), is more attached to my partner, but she appreciates the fact that I put out the food and water for her. When one of us is busy, the other is Louie’s personal distracter — with cat toys, empty boxes, pieces of tissue paper or ribbon, anything that works basically. She thinks she’s queen of the house and she’s a handful. But she’s also got the thickest, softest, silkiest hair, and she’ll sit contentedly in your arms, looking around at everything with great interest, for quite a while before squirming to be let down. When we have company over she is the most social of the three. She totally hams it up for extra attention and pets, and as much as she can be a pain in the butt at times she can also get me laughing like none other. For example, when first meeting my grandpa, she tried to stick her face up his pant leg. What a weirdo. ❤️

The third is Noodle (the little black munchkin in the middle). She loves headscratches above all other kinds of petting and will actively chase my  hand when I try to stop. Where Louie hams it up and Frankie hangs out under the bed when guests come over, Noodle is somewhere in the middle. She’s got a play style like Frankie’s, but Louie’s energy level. Most importantly she always comes up on the bed to sleep with us, or at least comes up to snuggle and purr with us in the morning. 

These three are always there for us. At the same time we are wholly responsible for them. Some days I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t rub my cheek on their warm fur and just breathe in just to stay grounded. It’s the best gift I could ever ask for from any friend. 

A to Z Challenge #6 — Friends

The problem with going from West Coast to East Coast for school, and then moving back to the West Coast afterwards, is that all my friends are all far away now. My college buddies are mostly back east, which I can’t afford to visit very often, so we’ve mostly fallen into or respective busy lives and out of touch. Meanwhile, while I was gone my pals from high school drifted off to other cities or states, and I’ve lost touch with them too.

As an introvert with anxiety problems I have a hard time reaching out… But by the time I work myself up to it my attempt tends to be too little too late, and/or they have their own stuff to deal with and don’t stay on top of getting back to me. No judgement, it’s just sad. Continue reading “A to Z Challenge #6 — Friends”