Now I’ll tell you about me…

These are questions posed by inkbiotic, who likes to hear what people have to say about stuff.

1. Would you rather be beautiful, an astronaut or able to walk up any surface (ie up walls and along the ceiling)? Why?

I’m afraid of falling (not heights, heights don’t bother me, but put me on a steep slope trying to go any direction and I’ll freeze up), so not the walking up any surface one. I could give or take being beautiful. So I guess I’d rather be an astronaut.

After all, there is no up or down in space. I learned that from Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card. Up and down are determined by gravity, which is generally a planetary orientation, but when you’re in space you have to switch to a situational orientation based on where you are, where you want to go, and any obstacles that are in your way. I like thinking about stuff like that.

2. Would you rather physically age, mentally age or visibly age?

The closer I get to thirty, the more I discover that physically aging sucks — so not that one.

My answer depends on what you mean by mentally age… Does it mean more maturity, adult-ness, etc, or does it mean inching closer to dementia? Because I’ve seen the latter (I was visiting my Gramps in the Alzheimer’s ward once and… got lost). In that case, no fucking thank you.

3. What was the last good deed you did?

This is a tiny good deed, and I don’t know if anyone cared… but yesterday my partner and I were leaving a winery tasting room and I thought I’d pushed the door hard enough for it to close behind us. We got about twenty feet before I glanced back and realized that it was still yawning open, so I went back and closed it. Flies would have gotten in, or something, and the tasting room staff would’ve had to go around the counter to go close it.

4. I’ve been watching the Good Place. It’s great. To give a spoiler-free description, it’s a comedy about a Heaven-like place, where you can live in your ideal house in a perfect village, eat all your favourite foods, and hang out with your soul-mate. What three things would you choose to have in your good place?

I would want a tiny house village! And have three tiny houses — one to live in with my partner, and one for each of us to have our own creative workspaces. (Possibly another tiny house for a library, too, but the kind of library that’s bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. With audiobooks as well as print.)

The other thing I would want is my three cats, and I don’t care if that doesn’t count as one thing because I love them.

Food-wise, I want every imaginable style of pizza.

5. You get a time machine watch that can only go up to an hour into the past or future. What would you use it for?

I’d probably use it for when I’ve forgotten to take my anti-anxiety meds before noon. Or if I’m running late for work.

6. You’re such an awesome person, that the mayor of your town has asked you to come up with a national holiday, what would you want the holiday to be for (eg Tree Day, Festival of Dreams), and when would you want it?

Love a Kitty Day.

7. What small something would you change right now?

I would change the amount of carbs in my favorite turkey jerky. Why does there need to be so much cane sugar and brown sugar? Why?!

8. What are your plans for getting older? How do you want to spend your time when/if you stop working? Where do you want to be?

I’d like to get into the wine industry, though still on the marketing and outside events side. Somewhere I can actually stay for a few years and still feel like I’m growing in my role rather than hitting a dead end career-wise. Somewhere that can pay a living wage and offer medical, dental, and vision coverage. And I’m enough my father’s daughter that if I can retire at some point, I’d probably still end up doing something similar on a part-time basis anyway.

I’d also like to write and publish a few novels. And remember that tiny house village from question three? That’s where I want to live, somewhere in Northern California with a view of the ocean and lots of walking trails. A garden that I don’t have to do anything with, just enjoy the bounty of.

9. You find out (probably from a magic floating wizard or by text or something) that nothing you do today will have consequences. What’s your itinerary for the day?

Costco pizza. And deep dish pizza. And one or two seasonal pizzas from our favorite restaurant in Petaluma. Pizza pizza pizza, all day long.

I would also tell a former employer exactly what I think of her.

2018-01-01 11.42.4710. When you die your ghost will be trapped in the place of your death, where do you want to die?

I don’t know… But if I could stay wherever my body ends up, I would prefer to do one of those biodegradable burial pod things that turns your body into a tree. Then I could be a dryad.