Recipe: Lazy Greek Yogurt Chocolate Ice Cream

I recently experienced a life-changing revelation: it is possible to make ice cream without an ice cream maker.

… Some of you might already know this. But just to be clear, I’m not talking about the baggie of ice cream mixture inside a bigger baggie of water, ice, and rock salt. The recipe below is based on another recipe I found online, but different enough to be new on the grounds that I didn’t have several of those ingredients.

Also, I rue the day I got fat free Greek Yogurt without realizing it. I keep adding heavy whipping cream to everything to help balance things out… Hitting the right ratio of macronutrients for keto is hard.


Lazy Greek Yogurt Chocolate Ice Cream


  • 60g non-fat Greek yogurt
  • 20g heavy whipping cream (1 tbsp = 15g)
  • ½ cup vanilla almond milk
  • 1½ tsp cacao powder
  • 1 tbsp granular Swerve sweetener


  1. Whisk everything together. If it ends up frothy, that’s okay.
  2. Freeze for one hour, then take it out and stir thoroughly.
  3. Freeze for half an hour, then stir.
  4. Freeze for half an hour, then stir and serve.

For those keeping track, all of this works out to…

Cal – 121 kcal
Fat – 8.4 g
Carbs – 7.7 g
Protein – 7 g


Now I’ll tell you about me…

These are questions posed by inkbiotic, who likes to hear what people have to say about stuff.

1. Would you rather be beautiful, an astronaut or able to walk up any surface (ie up walls and along the ceiling)? Why?

I’m afraid of falling (not heights, heights don’t bother me, but put me on a steep slope trying to go any direction and I’ll freeze up), so not the walking up any surface one. I could give or take being beautiful. So I guess I’d rather be an astronaut.

After all, there is no up or down in space. I learned that from Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card. Up and down are determined by gravity, which is generally a planetary orientation, but when you’re in space you have to switch to a situational orientation based on where you are, where you want to go, and any obstacles that are in your way. I like thinking about stuff like that.

2. Would you rather physically age, mentally age or visibly age?

The closer I get to thirty, the more I discover that physically aging sucks — so not that one.

My answer depends on what you mean by mentally age… Does it mean more maturity, adult-ness, etc, or does it mean inching closer to dementia? Because I’ve seen the latter (I was visiting my Gramps in the Alzheimer’s ward once and… got lost). In that case, no fucking thank you.

3. What was the last good deed you did?

This is a tiny good deed, and I don’t know if anyone cared… but yesterday my partner and I were leaving a winery tasting room and I thought I’d pushed the door hard enough for it to close behind us. We got about twenty feet before I glanced back and realized that it was still yawning open, so I went back and closed it. Flies would have gotten in, or something, and the tasting room staff would’ve had to go around the counter to go close it.

4. I’ve been watching the Good Place. It’s great. To give a spoiler-free description, it’s a comedy about a Heaven-like place, where you can live in your ideal house in a perfect village, eat all your favourite foods, and hang out with your soul-mate. What three things would you choose to have in your good place?

I would want a tiny house village! And have three tiny houses — one to live in with my partner, and one for each of us to have our own creative workspaces. (Possibly another tiny house for a library, too, but the kind of library that’s bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. With audiobooks as well as print.)

The other thing I would want is my three cats, and I don’t care if that doesn’t count as one thing because I love them.

Food-wise, I want every imaginable style of pizza.

5. You get a time machine watch that can only go up to an hour into the past or future. What would you use it for?

I’d probably use it for when I’ve forgotten to take my anti-anxiety meds before noon. Or if I’m running late for work.

6. You’re such an awesome person, that the mayor of your town has asked you to come up with a national holiday, what would you want the holiday to be for (eg Tree Day, Festival of Dreams), and when would you want it?

Love a Kitty Day.

7. What small something would you change right now?

I would change the amount of carbs in my favorite turkey jerky. Why does there need to be so much cane sugar and brown sugar? Why?!

8. What are your plans for getting older? How do you want to spend your time when/if you stop working? Where do you want to be?

I’d like to get into the wine industry, though still on the marketing and outside events side. Somewhere I can actually stay for a few years and still feel like I’m growing in my role rather than hitting a dead end career-wise. Somewhere that can pay a living wage and offer medical, dental, and vision coverage. And I’m enough my father’s daughter that if I can retire at some point, I’d probably still end up doing something similar on a part-time basis anyway.

I’d also like to write and publish a few novels. And remember that tiny house village from question three? That’s where I want to live, somewhere in Northern California with a view of the ocean and lots of walking trails. A garden that I don’t have to do anything with, just enjoy the bounty of.

9. You find out (probably from a magic floating wizard or by text or something) that nothing you do today will have consequences. What’s your itinerary for the day?

Costco pizza. And deep dish pizza. And one or two seasonal pizzas from our favorite restaurant in Petaluma. Pizza pizza pizza, all day long.

I would also tell a former employer exactly what I think of her.

2018-01-01 11.42.4710. When you die your ghost will be trapped in the place of your death, where do you want to die?

I don’t know… But if I could stay wherever my body ends up, I would prefer to do one of those biodegradable burial pod things that turns your body into a tree. Then I could be a dryad.

English Toffee Fat Bombs — Keto Girl in a Carbed Up World

I’m pretty sure that Fat Bombs were named by a male because the name does not sound nearly as appealing as the treat itself is. I think if I invented the fat bomb, I’d probably name it “PMS Lifesaver” or “Chocolaty Drops of Heaven” or “There’s No Way I can Eat these and Lose Weight […]

via English Toffee Fat Bombs — Keto Girl in a Carbed Up World

I seriously need to try making these. Just as soon as I find a sugar free syrup in one of my local grocery stories.

Can you really never go home again?

Conventional wisdom holds that reading fanfiction you wrote six or seven years ago should be a cringe-worthily horrible experience. So… am I weird?

Because I’ve spent the past week reading through stuff I wrote in the last year or so of college and slightly after, and I don’t hate it. After all this time I’m basically my own, relatively unbiased beta reader and I’m polishing things up to post on Archive of Our Own.

Of course, I’m being selective. It’s only one specific fandom and only one specific pairing from it. Well… mostly. I have, like, three favorite characters that didn’t lead me to write things that make me want to dash my head against a wall and/or get a super-sized insulin shot from all that sugary sweetness crap.

That said, even some of the stuff I still like is pretty weird. Like, ‘oh my god why did I write this’ weird. But in a funny way.

Continue reading “Can you really never go home again?”

The Keto experiment has begun.

I have a confession to make… This is the first diet I’ve ever been on.

Growing up in my parents house, my dad basically fed us like we were all on a diet. A protein, a starch, and vegetables with every meal, plus the built in kind of portion control you can only get from a man who buys things in bulk at Costco and then vacuum seals his own portions of “enough for four,” “enough for three,” “enough for two,” etc. We didn’t have much in the way of snacks around the house, usually, but when I did snack it was usually things like a slice off the big brick of Tillamook mild cheddar. Desserts were infrequent, and when they happened usually involved fresh fruit in some way.

I’m not saying I always ate my veggies, but I seldom ended up overeating at any given meal.

But now I’m going to be thirty in a few months, and I want to lose the stress weight from the past few years… Long story, mostly work related. My partner and I have both decided to try out the Keto diet, which basically means we eat so few carbs our bodies start to metabolize fat for energy instead. It seems like a fairly sustainable plan, and I don’t have to be on it forever.

The Experience So Far

I feel like crap. Crap in that special way where I’ve been ramping down my sugar intake since mid-January and I’m still sliding down the slope of a major energy low. One day I could barely make myself move for apathy and despair. Another day I kept crying about everything. Carb withdrawal is brutal.

The diet started officially a few days ago, and I’m not entirely sure I’ve limited my carb intake enough. Still, I feel like I already have the keto flu. If I do, that means I’m already done with some of the three to five days it usually lasts!

I made some very tasty cream cheese truffles. Gotta love Pinterest as a recipe source.

Tonight we both downloaded the KetoDiet Pro app, and that should help quite a bit with carb counting.

Have I mentioned that I feel like crap? It’s also entirely possible that I still have an actual cold. That, or the weather is warm enough that the plants have decided it’s spring and I’m getting seasonal sinus headaches again. Or possibly both.

Going Forward

I’m going to keep a better eye on my carbs, and start taking some vitamin B and C supplements along with my usual daily boost of vitamin D. Everything is still full steam ahead.

I’ve lost my mind and started rereading my old fanfiction, and actually still like a quite a bit of it. I mean, I’m going to go through several rounds of rereading and editing before I repost anything on Archive of Our Own, and not all of it is going to make the cut by any means, but a lot of it still makes me laugh in a good way. If nothing else it is nice to have a creative project.

Lastly, at some point in the future I want to start putting together my own cookbook of favorite, go-to recipes. That’s another project. I don’t know what it is about being more hands-on with my own food, but this is all very exciting — enough, at least, to push through the carb withdrawal.

IWSG Post #13


FEBRUARY QUESTION: What do you love about the genre you write in most often?

Before I googled some stuff to help me write this post, I didn’t even realize that New Adult was a genre. That’s entirely, completely what I write, and I love that I now have a label I can put my finger on! According to Wikipedia this genre “focuses heavily on life after an individual has become of legal age, and how one deals with the new beginnings of adulthood.”

In college, my usual MO for research papers was to navigate course concepts through whatever I was writing. A psychology/physiology class on emotions resulted in a paper where I explored the science behind emotions by comparing Vulcans to humans. An art history paper turned into an investigation of color choice and medieval pigments as I recreated an unfinished page from an illuminated manuscript and attempted to explain my color choices based on historical precedent.

In the present, I’m turning thirty in May and still don’t feel like an adult yet. So. I’m exploring that in my writing too. I love being able to do that.

Continue reading “IWSG Post #13”