A to Z Challenge #20 — Totaled

Last year, only a couple days into 2015, I was in a car crash on the freeway that resulted in our car getting totaled. The engine literally went crunch. Another car tried to make an exit that they were never going to make, but shot across four lanes anyway… My partner was driving and saw it coming in time to slow down a lot but momentum is momentum.

Luckily, no one was hurt and a witness — a very keen witness with an emergency roadside kit in trunk — pulled over to help. Usually rear-ending someone is a sure sign that you’re at fault but that was absolutely not what happened.

My memories of the experience are in stop motion. I remember three things before we were out of the car: I saw the collision coming in time to think “We’re going to hit them”, my glasses were gone and something (the airbag) had just hit me in the face, and I was trying to get my door open while my partner insisted we get out asap. Then we were out on the somewhat triangular island between our shoulder of the freeway, the exit, and an overpass.

Continue reading “A to Z Challenge #20 — Totaled”

Sunday Gratitudes #15

“Once you’ve embraced gratitude, give it some time before you expect changes. With most small gratitude practices, benefits emerge at around the three-week mark, Emmons says — ‘long enough for a behavior to become a habit.’ Though few studies have looked long-term, there is evidence that the effects can last for months, even years. ‘Changes can be permanent,’ he says, ‘as the brain rewires.’” (x)

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I’m grateful for…

💆 – Feeling more comfortable in social situations. I’m still an introvert, I still don’t often initiate conversations with strangers, but since starting to take an anti-anxiety med I’ve found I’m less startled and anxious when people randomly start talking to me. I had a brief conversation with some random guy in the Las Vegas airport because he saw my tote bag from the magazine – he used to be an editor for another California magazine before social media was a thing. I didn’t feel uncomfortable or shaky after this conversation, which is nice.

💆 – The infinite color palette of the Pacific ocean. I aspire to someday live in a house with an ocean view. Not a view of the beach, not the people who to come to see it, just the ocean. And maybe a road winding somewhere along in the view, to remind me of where I have been — where I am right now, in this moment.

💆 – The evergreens that grow near the beach. They’re so spindly and wispy, but they hang on. Some of them are tall and thin, some of them are shorter and more shrub-like, but with a rakish tilt. My favorite are the tall ones with windswept tufts of green at their tops.

💆 – Receiving comments on my posts. A lot of the time I feel like what I’m writing about is silly or self-indulgent or wouldn’t interest anyone but myself. I especially love receiving comments on my Sunday gratitudes posts, because they’re something I started doing purely for my own self-improvement, but I’m glad when other people can take inspiration from them or chime in to say, I am doing this too. It makes me feel less like a perpetual weirdo. Continue reading “Sunday Gratitudes #15”